musing kennbivins

Water from rocks and manna-soaked socks
And quail in my locks, still a 40-year clock
I wait at the dock yet my ship never stocks.
39 more years I’ll hang on this block
“This one bring you luck!”
But luck is a crock
And I’m staring at walls that tick and then tock
And then a dismissive obsessive regressive tock
Walking alone while [...]

Four walls and an echo
Down a long and distant hall
Four intents and no passenger
And a self-constructed wall
Three beats and then waiting
For the time to pronounce my vow
Three strikes and then debating
Should I forfeit the game right now?
Two seats yet filled to capacity
Did she save a seat for me?
Two ballads have made me restless
And their cadence [...]

One hundred and eighty pointless distractions
Leading to inaction
Twelves times less their passion
Is Kenn home? Who’s asking?
One hundred and eighty reprimands
And a serious tongue lashing
Return to your first love, return to your passion
Those other misleads and concubines
Will exhaust your stored up rations
Hurry now, scurry now, better get to dashing
Though your Dad will never leave you
Even when [...]

(Nadine is the personification of hope)
This is not some love poem or a soliloquy of a dream
This is not a confession of an angry black man or how its difficult to be a human being
This is not a suicide note left with hesitant intentions of being seen
And this is not an adolescent cry with regret [...]

Thinking of you sleeping right before you wake up
Has me so warm to steeping that I’m about to break up
The visual of you wrapped in sheets not wearing any makeup
Has me so terse that if I burst then I could fill a lake up
There must be some hobby or craft I can maybe take up
In [...]

This passenger-side driving
Alludes that I’m not so in control
The floorboards won’t slow my descent
And the dashboard won’t steer my fold
While my sanity is bleeding
And injustice is on the walk
I try hard not to feel
I try hard not to talk
This passenger-side driving
Has me impatient to make my mark
But it’s all about the journey I hear
Not where [...]

I wanna hold your hand
I wanna be your man
I wanna be the sand that runs through your toes
Ending up in unsuspecting places of the crannies and folds of your clothes.
A chair is not a chair
A weave is not her hair
A burning house is not a flare when there’s no one standing close
To witness who was [...]

Your insincere sincerities
Are so much akin to cake
Whereas the eating of and having it
Conveys your deeds as fake
Your insincere sincerities
Are as a window cooling pie
While an ugly truth is better
Than the most beautiful of lies
Your insincere sincerities
Bring sincerities to shame
Cut and paste some random sentiment
And fill in the blank some random interest’s name.
————————————-

Lies I’ve heard
From the start…
“Not that smart
Ain’t got heart
Just a tart
Slow to start
Below the chart
Dull-eyed dart
Richless fart
Empty cart
Progress in ‘park’
Stopping start
In the dark
Just a lark
Can’t make the mark
No grave for Clark
Reality stark
Mewing bark”
What’s that?!
Hark!
Who’s that?
Hark!
Can’t hear you
I can’t hear you
We can’t hear you
Stop!
Okay.
Now start
Over.

Touch your toes
Bend your knees
Prostrate yourself
And pray for peace
Relax your arms
To your side
Drop your weapons
And your pride
Widen your eyes
Close your mouth
Put her first
Do without
Feel the burn
Catch your breath
You can do it
Ask for help
Stretch your arms
Shift your hips
Speak your heart
Through positive lips
Do three reps
Every dawn
With your favorite
Dance tune on
Arch your back
Praise like trees
Prostrate yourself
And pray for [...]

Anathemas and shadows and veins coursing lead
He’s looming and lurking and nigh-inspiring dread
Duplicitous and suspicious, I wish he were dead
He’s like some matured fictional monster come from under my bed
Mondays find me restless and these days ask for peace
Wednesdays leave me torn while next days find my knees
And Saturdays ramblings to God and His returned [...]

Cordon off the area
Secure the halls
There’s honey on the floor
Sugar on the walls
There’s flowers in a vase
Rose petals on the bed
Bathtub full of milk
And someone has lost his head
Aromatic candles flicker soft
No light switch can be found
The silence is suspicious
Wait, there is a subtle sound
Heartbeats or footsteps
Or bodies falling down steps
Ambient, rhythmic moaning
Thrust into the [...]

Dearest, if you’re reading this
I may be already dead
My wrists are already red
The fish are already fed
“Hope is but a waking dream”
That’s what Aristotle said
That’s why I’m waking up in dread
And my forward feels like lead
It’s a fine day for a funeral
Be careful where you tread
Trust is all in your head
So do just as Papa [...]

Promises promises
She won’t do you harm,
His word is his bond,
Mom won’t buy the farm
Sequences sequences
What happens next?
Will Infatuation’s daughter
Soon be my ex?
Out again off again
The stove was left on,
The back door is open,
And the cat’s got her tongue
Etcetera etcetera…
Gray mountains to climb
Six ounces and venting
And soon I’ll be fine.
kenn

silent outside. restrained voices
and murmur or muffle of sound.
incoherent. beating irregular.
inside. beyond the foamed walls
shutting out the silence, I scream.
Shrieking. Shrilling. Gasping.
Glass breaks. Metal crumples.
Concrete crumbles. Water violently sloshes.
Am I really here?