musing kenn bivins

And so it is… 30 days later. July 1st. It seems much of my celebration of my birth month, June, was met with a lot of busyness but I got some serious reflection and celebration of self in there too.

I’m not sure that I’m cut out for blogging everyday but I do plan on blogging more regularly when time and inspiration allows.

In case you’re wondering what I’ve been up to… I’m currently shopping for an agent for my novel (Pious), illustrating my children’s book (A Jar of Mayonnaise), drafting a short story (Clean), and finishing writing edits on a second children’s book (Better There) that I will illustrate later this year. (whew!) Now what was that I said about busyness?

Would you eat a whole jar of mayonnaise? What if you were poor and that’s all that you had alongside a half loaf of bread? What if someone would pay you a million dollars to do it?

Well, I’m about to embark on illustrating said adventure as my next project.

“A Jar of Mayonnaise” is about an old man who sets on an expedition in his town to see who will pay him a million dollars to eat a jar of mayonnaise. Yeah, it gets pretty ridiculous and fun from the start.

I wrote this story years ago but the project got sidelined by other things. I even found the original storyboards and some rough pages (as pictured below). I’ll keep you posted on the new character designs and my progress.

Formerly upon an age
When mankind was young and able
There lived a promising moll
By the moniker of Felona Mabel.
She loved the taste of milk
While she abhorred the smell of cows
She proclaimed to be committed
While she never kept her vows
Some say the grass was greener
Yet she tended not her lawn
Some offered to drink her bath water
Yet she kept the water on
Felona Mabel was drop dead gorgeous
With an emphasis on “dead”
She was perfumed consternation
With forked tongue and pretty head
Her suitors were a multitude
That sought to fill her every need
Most men hated to see her go
But they loved to see her leave.
Felona was many times a bridesmaid
But never quite a bride
She stood on many front porches
But never spent much time inside
You see, she had this little issue
That no engineer could fix
Balm and scratching would not relieve her
Of this nagging little itch
An itch not of a dermal nature
And having nothing to do with skin
It had more to do with her mindset
And what she thought was deep within
Underneath the perfect skin,
Past the perfect pearls and all
Felona’s perception of herself
Was her fatal and final flaw
While everyone else saw beauty
Full of character, grace, and glory
Felona would only look in the mirror
And see staring back at her, the villain of her story.

It’s hot outside and but that’s ’cause we’re outside. Oh yeah.

Today, I’ve taken the day off from blogging and the internet and all to spend with my favorite little dudes. I may post pictures of our adventure tomorrow. And stay tuned for a new piece that I’m writing that I plan on posting on Monday. See you then.

Thank you for the music, the inspiration, and the memories of which legends are made.

This configuration of barbed wire, ambitions, and intentions
Draw out new adversaries where there should be rest
And sleeplessness is my only companion
I aspire while trying to inspire
My voice is a weak puff of air
Yet I know that I’m heard
If even so slightly
But sometimes,
It’s hard.

Yesterday, I must have been wearing a bright red target on my back and my post didn’t help matters much. Well, there’s a beautiful conclusion to it all. Caedmon’s Call is a band that I’m personally connected to and this particular song of theirs is pretty significant to me in resolving the “everybody leaves” mentality. I hope you get it and enjoy.

Caedmon’s Call – “Only One”

“I come from a long line of leavers
Out of the garden gate with an
Apple in their hands
I expect and I believe
You’re gonna run out of love
You’re gonna give me the shove
‘Cause that’s the thing that lovers do
Then there’s You

You found me cynical and jaded
You lifted my mask and lightened me up
And when my black eyes have faded
I found they were gouged
Had the coal in my mouth
I’ve never seen the old age new
And then there’s You

Chorus:
You’re the only One
Who knows my secrets
You’re the only One
Still you’re the only One
Who never leaves
And I wake up to this mystery

I betrayed You with a little kiss
I thought You’d find someone better
And You forgave me even for this
Came to the upper room
You dragged me from the tomb
There is none both good and true
Then there’s You.”

Everybody leaves. Having experienced degrees of loss at a young age, I embraced that damaging thought. As I grew into an adult, the thought was only verified by attempts at relationships that came to “incomplete” conclusions.

Since then, hope and maturity has put me in a different mindset. Perhaps, everyone doesn’t leave. Perhaps they simply have a “best if used by date” on them. hmmm…

The sentimental differences between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are as stark as life and death. There. I said it.

It troubles me that the standard in America seems to be that we worship our mothers while at the same time, we criticize our fathers. And if we’re not criticizing them outright, we emasculate them softly by reminding them of their roles of responsibility and leadership. Grown men need to be reminded of what God called them to do? When was the last time we reminded a mother to breastfeed her child? When was the last time we called for mothers to be more responsible to the family?

I know. I know. In our society, far too many men have run from their roles as dads. Those are the bad apples but when did a few bad apples define what an apple tastes like? I know many men who are good parents. Period.

My father was absent most of my childhood and when he was around, his presence did more harm than good. I’ve determined to be the opposite – the dad that I always wanted. To me, there is both a semantic and emotional difference between the titles of father and dad. A father seeds a child and bears the responsibility of taking care of her. A dad does that and additionally has a relationship with his child. The title, dad, evokes images of a child sitting in his or her dad’s lap.

I encourage those men who are naturally drawn to parent their children. I encourage those good dads who’s ill fate is to share the same sentence with deadbeat dads. I encourage those good dads beyond Father’s Day. I encourage those men who are parents, simply stated. Just like our mothers, we need you and are thankful for you.

Happy Dad’s Day to all of the dads and moms that serve the role of surrogate dads.
We love you.

Today in Atlanta, it is as hot as my finite imagination would indicate Hades to be. Summer is indeed here.

I know I promised to blog everyday in June but I simply have nothing to share today. The heat and the laziness of the day has rendered me pretty useless. But then this counts as a blog, doesn’t it? Even though it’s about nothing, it’s something. Right?

Summer Solstice party tonight everywhere. Really awesome Summer Solstice party in particular in my hood. Call me or shoot me an email for times, details, and what not to bring. Stay cool in the meantime.

Tomorrow (June 20th) is Summer Solstice, a celebration of the longest day of the year and the beginning of Summer. Every year, my awesome neighbors prime the sod couches in the courtyard, fill up the pool, warm up the grill, and invite dozens upon dozens of family, friends, and apparent strangers to party with them under the sun until the moon comes and then the sun.

If you’d like to be amongst the hot, cool people and you’re near Atlanta this Saturday, shoot me an email and I’ll give you the details.

* Picture above credited to Todd Pullen

Sometimes I flaunt in the skins of an intellectual while all the while I’m just repeating the words and sentiment of my much smarter friends.

One of those much smarter friends, Tiff, brought to my attention this amazing article on what makes us happy. It’s worth the read. You may even be able to feign “intellectual” amongst your smarter friends.

In sharing, Tiff punctuated the article with a quote from the lead researcher, Dr. George Vaillant. He says, “Positive emotions make us more vulnerable than negative ones. One reason is that they’re future-oriented. Fear and sadness have immediate payoffs—protecting us from attack or attracting resources at times of distress. Gratitude and joy, over time, will yield better health and deeper connections—but in the short term actually put us at risk. That’s because, while negative emotions tend to be insulating, positive emotions expose us to the common elements of rejection and heartbreak.”

Thank you for sharing, Tiff.

As a little kid my imagination was out of control. Everything meant something
in my little kenniverse of a brain. Funny how some things never change.

With that said, in the kenniverse, Wednesday is actually better known as Kennsday so…
Happy Kennsday, Friends.